After I got to posting yesterday, I realized that *I* was excited about getting Kait a doll. Those of you who knew me growing up must think that’s awful weird. I was soooo not a girly girl growing up. I would rather have been outside shooting baskets, climbing trees or playing with the boys. I was always dirty from digging in the dirt. Once when I was about 10, they discovered the remains of a dinosaur somewhere near our town and that sent me to digging a hole that was about knee deep in our yard. Thankfully I was smart and dug it under the tree swing where the grass was already worn away or I most likely would have found myself in a heap of trouble. Anyway, all that to say that I was definitely NOT the type to play with dolls when I was little. My sister reads my blog and if she’d register so she could comment, she could tell you all about how she wouldn’t let me play Barbies with her because I would rip their heads off or send their cars crashing into walls on purpose.
However, as I’ve gotten older, probably about the time I had my daughter, I realized that maybe there was something to this girl thing after all. I started to really care about how I looked (although you’re still most likely to find me in jeans than a trouser or skirt). I hunted far and wide to find Strawberry Shortcake dolls (the ONLY doll that I deemed cool growing up – and then just for the smell) before they came back on the market. HOLY COW! Was that a wakeup call to realize that something I played with so hard as a child was not a collectors item? When did I get so old? I played teaparty and dress up and did all things girly.
And you know what? I *like* being a girl!!! I like watching chick flicks and reading sappy Christian chick lit for fun. I still don’t wear pink (I just don’t think it goes with my red hair – which was something that developed more the older I got), but I’ve got tons of purple and red and girly green in my wardrobe. I love it when my husband brings me flowers and chocolate. I love being pampered and wearing makeup and spending time on my hair. I just like being a girl. I am woman – hear my roar!
With discovering my “girldom” though came new challenges. I struck out to find out what a person who wanted to be a woman of God would be. I was (still am) severely intimidated by the Proverbs 31 woman. Sometimes I wondered if she wasn’t made up. I mean how can anyone do all of that stuff at once? But as I’ve gotten older *eek* I’ve come to realize that most likely she didn’t do all of it at once. There are seasons to life and chances are she was able to rise to the occasion no matter what chapter in life she found herself in. Sometimes I wish God would have seen fit to put in the Bible that sometimes she also had days where she wanted to pull all her hair out or not even bother crawling out of bed, but I see her now as someone to be looked up to. To emulate. To imitate. But it’s ok if I’m not exactly like her. God didn’t make me to be her, He made me to be me. And you know, I like me. I try my best and give my best effort. Some days are better than others, but I am not perfect and I’m ok with that.
I don’t know. Maybe I’m talking in circles a bit today. I’ve been doing that lately. Sometimes my brain works faster than my fingers can type and by the time my fingers catch up, my brain has forgotten what it was I wanted to say. But today, I am content being me.