Man, I understand what the Bible says about having to take captive every thought. If I would have let it happen last night, my mind really could have run away from me. I’m having to chase away constant thoughts of “scaredness”. I’m not really fearful because I know that God is in control, but there are times that I’m scared for my husband that this might be more than pneumonia. I’m just being honest. I’m sure half of y’all have had the same thoughts. But that “scaredness” could easily turn into fear if I let it get away from me. This morning I’m clinging to the “Whatever” verses – “Whatever is righteous, whatever is holy, think on these things…”
I’ve decided that I’m going to make myself a “Blessing Book” today. Every time one of those ugly thoughts pop into my brain, I’m going to thing of something that I’m thankful for, that I’m blessed with. I’m going to write down my blessings as I count them. That way, when I’m not able to think those things in the midst of this struggle (because sometimes it’s really hard), I’ll be able to go back and look at the ones I’ve written down and hopefully pull myself up before I get into a funk.
I think I’ve cried more tears this week than in my life. I’ve read through the Psalms twice. I’m crying out to God more than ever and asking Him to reveal Himself in this situation. And most of all, I’m asking Him to give us answers TODAY!!!
I’ll post this afternoon after the specialist comes in to see Chip and hopefully we get to come home!