Yesterday morning in church, I had an original thought. Something that I had known all along, have been taught my entire life, and yet it was always head knowledge and not heart knowledge.
As Jesus hung on the cross and became sin, God the Father turned his back and rejected Jesus because He can’t look on sin. Jesus knew what it was like to be separated from God.
These past few weeks have been rough for us. But through it all, I knew it would be ok. I had that “peace that passes all understanding.” I felt God in the midst of the storm more intimately than I had ever felt Him before. I knew that God was right there with us as we walked this path and that He’s going before us to fight the battles that lay ahead.
But Jesus… As he ate the last supper, as he prayed in the garden, as he was flogged and mocked and nailed to the cross, God was with Him. Jesus agonized and went through all of that for me.
But the thing that really got me is He knew it was coming. He knew that at a certain point, his Father would have to turn His back. He would no longer be able to look on Him. Jesus knew he would be separated from the Father.
I can’t imagine what that would feel like. Having that peace and knowing that God is with you and then suddenly having it ripped away. And that He did that WILLINGLY – FOR ME!!! That He not only layed His life down, but He took all of my sins and became so ugly that God couldn’t even look at him.
Jesus knows what it’s like to be alone and hurting. He knows what it’s like to feel unloved and deserted. He knows what it’s like to know impending doom. He took all of that onto Himself to pay the ultimate price for my sins. And He loved me enough, that even though He knew what was coming, He still chose to lay down His life for me.
I can imagine a lot of things in my life. I can imagine dying for my Lord. I can imagine facing trials and persecutions for my faith. I can imagine standing in the lions den. I can imagine a lot of things that could happen. But I simply cannot imagine, cannot begin to comprehend, going through any of that without God by my side.