Last night my husband continued a series he started while he was recovering called “Wired for Worship.” Basically, he says we were created to worship. We all worship something – from God to the television to our families to our lifestyles. But last night, he really touched on where I’m living. He talked about not living in negativity and how the key to overcoming that negativity in our lives is worship.
“We need to take the focus off of what is wrong in our lives and focus on what is right with God.”
It’s a quote I’ve heard before, but can’t remember who originally said it. It’s one of those thoughts that it’s very possibly several people could probably claim it as their own. I’m not that profound, but I can tell you it’s definitely true. Because it’s exactly where I’ve been living since the beginning of the year.
This past week was tough. As much as I love my Gram, she’s a negative person by nature. She’s had a rough life. She really does have a lot to complain about, and she does. That kind of attitude is infectious. It spreads to those around her and before you know it, you’re complaining right along with her.
I can’t blame it all on her. I was raised by a mother who lives her life in worry and fear. Sometimes I think she makes things up to worry about. Now, I’m not a worrier by nature, but sometimes learned habits will creep up from my past. I guess those negative thoughts are part of who I am. I think perhaps they are a part of all of us.
Anyway, to my battle. I’m still battling negative thoughts about my husbands health. He goes for a repeat CT scan on Thursday (the 18th) and then his drs appt will be next Wednesday (the 24th). He’s still got a cough and gets tired more easily. I want to believe that it’s nothing more than some damage to his lungs from being sick for so long. I want to believe that he’s still just recovering. But there is this nagging thought in the back of my mind that this mass is still going to be there. Which means they’ll have to do surgery to remove it. Which means that they’ll have to crack his chest open…
Thankfully, that’s as far as my thoughts go. Once I get to that point, I start to take captive every thought. It’s not easy and I didn’t even understand really what that meant until they told us that Chip had a mass in his chest. Then it became a part of my everyday life. I was constantly taking my thoughts captive. And I still am.
I’ve learned to take my eyes off of what is wrong in my life and focus on what’s right with God. In His presence is fullness of JOY. As I “turn my eyes upon Jesus” the things of this world become dim and I gain fresh perspective. As I focus on God and all that He is and has done and that I know He’s going to continue to do, I remember that His promises are true and that regardless of how test results come out, everything will be ok. And I know that while this is a battle that I’m fighting still, God has already won the victory and is standing at the finish line waiting to share the prize!