My Mundane Musings

Growing up I longed for the fast paced life of big city life and corporate America. Now I’m a stay at home mom of 4 in a small rural community! And I wouldn’t have it any other way! (At least for now).

Where would I be without Jesus? February 17, 2008

Filed under: church,internet,life,news,Nifty Stuff,profoundness — Rebekah Sanders @ 4:32 pm

Our pastor asked that question this morning. Just happens that he’s the guy that I’m married to. I’ve often thought that I didn’t have much of a testimony because I can never remember a time that I didn’t know God. I’ve never been away from God. Sure, I had my times of rebellion (which most people would laugh at because I was so not the rebellious type).

But I remember being in college and having a real encounter with Jesus. One that wrecked me and made me see how wretched I would be without Him.

You see, I was raised in a fairly legalistic church. I remember being taught the rules and told to follow them and not ask any questions. If you broke the rules, you didn’t love God. And I loved God, so I tried my hardest to follow the rules. And I thought less of those who didn’t. There was no grace. There was no mercy. In a few words, I was self-righteous and stuck up. The me of yesteryear would not like the present me. And honestly, the present me, doesn’t like the me of yesteryear.

But in college, I was on my own. I didn’t have anyone to tell me the rules anymore. So, I started to question them. I figured that if I was going to believe something and have it stick, I better figure out what I believe and why. I can remember having long, theological debates with a friend name Justin who would interrupt my thoughts as I sat in the chapel in the skyway at North Central. I can remember him challenging my rational on why I believed what I believed.

But it was in those quiet moments in that chapel – sometimes with friends, sometimes without – that I had a real encounter with Jesus. One that led me to realize that I was a slave to legalism when what Jesus came and died for was to give me freedom in Christ.

Now that we’ve got some years under our belt in ministry, we’ve had all kind of encounters with people in the church. We have regular contact with pastors all over the country (it’s amazing how small the world wide web makes the world). And the horror stories we could share based on what we’ve heard or even experienced (though ours really do pale in comparison to most) would make your head spin. There are people in the church who are so filled with hate and judgement and anger and well… SIN, that they can’t even see the Cross. They cause pain. They inflict disease. They are the bane of the pastor’s existence. They are often referred to in the circles that we travel in as pastor killers. Some churches are full of them. Some have few or possibly just one.

This morning, in the quiet of the sermon, my husband asked, “Where would you be without Jesus?”

And I had a moment.

I had an encounter.

Because I knew in my heart, that while I had never been far from church or God even really, had I not had a real, life-changing encounter with Jesus, I would be one of those self-righteous, know-it-all, busybody, thorn-in-the-side, pastor killers. And that stark realization dropped my heart into my stomach and made me so thankful that God redeemed me. That Jesus died for MY freedom. That Jesus set me free from the law and let’s me walk in grace.

What a wonderful and powerful gift.


One Response to “Where would I be without Jesus?”

  1. Amen! And these Pastor Killers don’t even realize (or so it seems) that he is God’s man sent to them and their families to try and feed them and/or be an example for them and their families. A pastor is such a great calling and it is such a respected office. When anyone is told there is a pastor in the office or in the building everyone has respect to the fullest (or so they act). But if its their pastor they start criticizing and killing everything bit of vim and vigor they can til they drive them away or kill all their excitement and they don’t really want to split the church but hey in their minds they think “it will be ok and it will grow back”. I have even heard members says “they are outsiders” and if any of their family members moved their letters with their kinfolk pastor then they are counted as outsiders as well. Oh and the famous saying “the church must go on but that pastor can go somewhere else” but what they don’t understand (or if they do they don’t act as if they do) is they are actually saying that they don’t believe that God sent that man to them and they are admittedly saying that they were deceived at first. Yeah right, thats why they say well that was a good pastor at first but once you get to know him he’s different. I have one question for these lack of love believers (its not possible is it?) and that is simply, what will it be like when they get to Heaven and decide they really don’t like Jonah, or John or David or Abel, or Paul? If we can’t love someone here (but we still need church discipline) then we can’t love them in the New Jerusalem. I praise God that i have finely found someone who has went through some similar issues. I am not a pastor but I have always learn to love my pastors for better or worse. I have the utmost respect for the office of pastor. I surrendered to preach the Gospel less than a year ago and i am praying for your husband and your entire family. May God bless you and I am putting the address to my blog in this comment and if you can figure it out, would you try and connect the 2 blogs together or tewll me what i got to do.

    Praise the Lamb, David Daniels Blood Bought

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