I know, I know – maybe that’s why I’ve been having migraines. Really don’t think that’s it, but I’ll try and lay off in the next day or two and see if it helps.
I’ve seen a growing trend lately of people who are coming out of the closet and telling God they are mad. Of people coming out and telling others that they are mad at God. I’ve never really had an issue with doing this. I always figured he already knows it, so why not tell Him and lets work through this thing. Because isn’t that really the first step in healing hurts? Admitting there is a problem?
And since my husband is a pastor, I talk to a lot of pastor’s wives. I’m actually friends with a whole bunch of them. They bless me more than they will ever know. They are the ones who speak into my life. Who aren’t afraid to tell me if I’m being stupid. And oh my – do I ever SHOCK them sometimes with the things that come out of my mouth. I wish y’all could have seen the look on the face of a friend when I told her that I had no issues with people who get tattoos when they are a Christian (within reason of course). I do that a lot. Because I know that it’s ultimately up to God to judge and since I’ve read my Bible, I figure this is one of those gray areas that every person needs to make up their own mind on. They are the ones who will have to talk to God about it someday. Not an issue for me since I have a bitty issue with needles…
Wow! Did I chase down a rabbit trail there! That was sooo not my point and I hope y’all are still with me! Are you still there? I promise – I have a point!
Anyway, so this pastor’s wife friend and I were talking the other day. She and her husband are about to change ministry assignments. I wish that things were better for them. But like many, many churches, theirs has a few people who make their lives more difficult than they need to be.
And we’ve wondered how they got like that. Because people who go to church don’t usually start out falling in love with Jesus and plugging into a church with an agenda and trying to kill pastors. But somewhere along the way, they become so hard hearted. So callous. So bitter.
And last night, like a lightbulb going off in my head, it was like the Holy Spirit revealed to me that it happens when people harbor anger and bitterness builds.
How does it get into the church? How do the church leaders become so bitter that they’d rather see their own agenda pushed through than a move of God? It’s because they are…
are you ready for this?
They are mad at God!!! I would guess that if you look back in their lives, you’ll be able to trace it back to something that God “allowed” or didn’t “prevent” – as if He were some genie in a bottle. A spouse died a long drawn out death. A child’s life ended long before it should have. There life savings was wrapped up in stock that dropped out beneath them when the CEO of the company decided to steal money. 9-11 happened. Doesn’t matter what it was, they blame God. They hold a grudge.
But the problem is, they can’t admit they are mad at God. Because there is a gross misunderstanding of the Scripture when it comes to anger. To many, it’s sin to be angry. And to be angry with God? Certainly that will send you straight to Hell.
So, they misplace the blame. They hurt those close to them because they have to take it out on someone. And sometimes they are even able to make things right with their relationships here on earth. But there is still a bitterness, an anger in their hearts and a long life lived with “what if’s”.
But real healing isn’t going to be able to happen until they are able to admit with themselves and with God that they are angry. That what happened HURT and they don’t understand the things of God. Because once they are able to see past what they think God did, they will be able to see who God is. He is Grace. He is Hope. He is Love. And only when they are able to see those things, can true healing really begin.
I’m not a theologian. I don’t pretend to be. I’m not even a preacher. I leave that up to my husband. But that’s what’s been in my head and on my heart today. I’ve been a bit miffed at God lately. But I know that above all, He has my best interests in His heart. His ways are above my own. And more than anything, I just want more of Him. And I know that His grace helps me work through my issues. I know that His love holds me through it all. And I know that He’ll be right there when I’m done with my little tantrum. And I am eternally grateful!